he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize