She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
