She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
