Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
