New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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