My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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