god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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