I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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