dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize