You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
