I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Ladies don't puke and tell
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
