according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
