I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
