Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
