..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
