Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
we're chasing vodka with high fives
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize