god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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