after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
