You made me cry and you don't even care
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
