Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
