Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
