she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
