last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
