grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just had sex bonerless
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
