there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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