is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
