.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
