it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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