he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
