Small penises have feelings too.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
