"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
