it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
