life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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