Dual....:-)
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
