I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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