Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
