I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize