I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
