i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Do vagina's smell?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
