Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
