i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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