quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
