I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
