Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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