i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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