I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize