If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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