She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
