First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Randomize
