i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
