Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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