he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
How many fucks given?
0.12846
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
