another moral hangover. fuck.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
