.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
