Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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