Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
