He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
