great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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