I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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