this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
