Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
handjob tips. give me some.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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