We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize