At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
