your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
