thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
