did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
