I'm jealous of your bromance
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My vagina just clenched in fear
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